im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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