guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
whose parrot is this?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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