So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
