So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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