The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
