using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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