okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
