it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
