im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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