My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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