Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
