belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
