Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize