I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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