the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
