Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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