Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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