That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
