when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
