ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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