Your dad touched me again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When are your genitals available?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
