I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
