He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
