I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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