Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
