Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
