If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I have post one night stand depression
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