K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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