My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
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If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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