I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
