Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
