he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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