Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
