go do what you do best...puke behind churches
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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