I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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