I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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