well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
