"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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