Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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