You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
