I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wish I only lived at night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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