My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
