Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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