that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.