i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.