they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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