I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
