the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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