What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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