I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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