All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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