We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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