Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
