how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
