but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
