she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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