So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
