We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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