I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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