I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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