she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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