just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
