We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Are we still banned from the library?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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