Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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