my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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